


Sorry

by ofreverentia



Series: 10 Stories [5]
Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Break Up, Established Relationship, Heartbreak, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-15
Updated: 2018-08-15
Packaged: 2019-06-27 19:22:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15691791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ofreverentia/pseuds/ofreverentia
Summary: Yuzuru knew it won’t be easy on them with the distance, the summer shows were over, he was doing his rehabilitation in Canada, Javier spending his time in Spain with a skating camp or preparations for Revolution on Ice.





	Sorry

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I am not dead but I may kill you with this. I am sorry in advance.

Yuzuru knew it won’t be easy on them with the distance, the summer shows were over, he was doing his rehabilitation in Canada, Javier spending his time in Spain with a skating camp or preparations for Revolution on Ice. He loved seeing the success his boyfriend was having, how happy it made him to tell over their Skype calls what happened, how he managed to sign singers or even have more shows added to the tour. It made him extremely happy as the smile on Javiers face made him happy too even during a hard day. The first weeks back on the ice required adjustment as he had now new rink mates and one less. Yuzuru doesn’t remember what day it was but it was a particularly bad training session, he couldn’t land most of his jumps, causing him to frown. Everything annoyed him, the laughter of Zhenya and Jason, the pictures taken at rink side, though no matter how bad he felt he couldn’t say no to kids, so each time he got approached he put on a charming smile and posed. Nobody knew about the storm raging inside his head. Brian could see in a way, having known Yuzuru for so long and cut his session short, telling him to go home, go for a walk; do anything to clear his mind and only get back on the ice once he sorted it out. Yuzuru didn’t need to take a walk, he knew what was wrong – one silluette was missing from the ice. Whenever he did his stroking exercises, he kept moved as if he had to be conscious of a Spaniard next to him but he wasn’t there. They were miles and hours apart.

Yuzuru packed up his suitcase and silently left the rink, ignoring the worried glances. It felt suffocating and extremely hard. Javier was gone and won’t be back for a few more weeks or even months. They haven’t spoken if he would even return before Japan Open or he continues his training in Spain. An obviously empty spot with Javier gone but with the change of their relationship, it felt even worse. All Yuzuru wanted was a warm embrace, bury his face in Javiers neck and inhale his scent. 

\----

With the season approaching, GPF assignments announced and his challenger cups picked, it became clearer how their schedules would clash. If Javier returns to Toronto, Yuzuru would be away, either in Japan for TV shows and interviews or actually a competition or there would be logically no possibility to see each other. Autumn Classic and Japan Open being so close, it would throw everyone off their game, no matter who flies where. The discussion ended with them having possibly their first fight as a couple and with Yuzuru crying in front of the camera of his laptop. Javier appeared to fighting his own. Neither was delusional how difficult it would be, especially this season as Javier still planned to participate in a few competitions but not the Grand Prix or Worlds. Their paths wouldn’t cross at events.

Though Yuzuru would be in Europe for his GPF assignments, he won’t be able to go and see Revolution on Ice or participate around that time. Rostelecom being on the same weekend as the Malaga show and in between he doesn’t know yet if he goes back to Toronto or stays somewhere. Ideally Madrid and spend time with Javier but as the dates approached the amount of planning and organization for Javier increased, Yuzuru flew back to Toronto before he returned to Moscow. Since Fantasy on Ice they haven’t seen each other in person.

The season progressed in such fashion with only a few instances where they met, the distance and struggles increasing with each day.

\----

Before they knew it, it was time again for the summer shows in Japan. Yuzuru booked all shows for Fantasy on Ice and a few others as well, always wanting to give back to his people. Javier got invites as well and he accepted them. A good month of touring together in Japan but as the dates approached, their relationship struggled. Another major fight erupted after the first practice in Yuzurus hotel room. Yuzuru could count on one hand how many times he has seen Javier break down in tears and he never thought it would be him causing one of those moments. Javier was hurting, his own heart breaking with the little time they could spend together. Calls requiring careful planning due to the timezone, training and responsibilities. He hoped they would be able to mend the cracks the distance created between them during the tour but instead they sat on a hotel bed next to each other, letting tears fall down their cheeks. Silence enveloped them, occasionally disturbed by a sniff. Yuzuru stared at the white wall ahead, his voice cracking as the words he dreaded to say came to the surface.

“Do you want to break up? Maybe Javi happier with a girl in Spain. Not me, who only hurts you.” The thought has been haunting him since New Year’s, a new wave of tears running down his cheeks. Saying those words aloud shattered his heart even more. He expected Javier to agree but instead he found himself enveloped in a warm embrace, a breath ghosting over his neck.

“No. I love you. I love Yuzuru Hanyu and nobody else. We will…we will find a way.” Javiers voice sounded broken, worn out but hopeful for some kind of miracle. A way for them to continue being together even if Yuzuru competes for a few more years.

“I am sorry.” Yuzuru sobbed out, arms clinging onto his boyfriend’s shirt, trying to anchor himself all over again. “I can’t do this without you.” He repeated the fated words from the Olympics well over a year ago. “I am sorry.” Yuzuru knew he will keep on hurting Javier with his decision to continue competing but he will do his best to be a better boyfriend.

\----

Javi ♥ [17/02/2020 10:02PM] Let’s end this. 

Yuzuru [17/02/2020 10:05PM] I’m sorry. 


End file.
